Lead Safety Advocacy Pillows

General says, 'Gentlemen, no more war. Because of health concerns they've recalled everything that contains lead, like our bullets.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Getting the hang of it?"

Reasonableman

Cafe Burns.

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"Careful."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"Here comes the super-visor."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

Boozing and Cruising

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.