Lead Safety Advocacy Pillows

General says, 'Gentlemen, no more war. Because of health concerns they've recalled everything that contains lead, like our bullets.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Cafe Burns.

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Reasonableman

"Careful."

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"Here comes the super-visor."

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Boozing and Cruising

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'