Lazy Office Ranger Gifts

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

Fetch the Boomerang

"I hate doing appraisals, it involves thinking about them."

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

Wake up love it's time to go to bed!

Gone to seed.

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

Couch potato.

A minotaur in a cubicle labyrinth

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

"I see here it's been quite a while since your last performance review."

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"I tend to get more done when I leave self-loathing off the to-do list."

You are here.

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

'I try to go to the office once-a-week just to see how I'm doing.'

Topiary: helping nature look her best

'What am I doing? Well, I'd planned on going to the office and goofing off...then I remembered I'm retired.'

"For Pete's sake, Morton, you don't leave on your fly fishing trip for another week!"

'Bugleweed makes a nice ground cover, and you don't have to set your alarm.'

"I forgot to call in dead."

'We've listened to staff concerns about the need for more training.'

"You idiot! I spent all morning covering that with hairs!"

4 Reasons for Procrastination

'Reading the want ads? No, they just happened to be on the same page as this fascinating story on...um...cosmetics.'

'The gardener in him sold out to the nature-conservationist.'

'How's your garden?' - 'It's getting too much for me so I'm paving it.'

'Let's have the Athletics on, luv - the doc sez I need more exercise!'

Snooker Channel.