Lazy Day Appreciator Pillows

"Shall we join the ladies?"

"It's just typical of you Norman - No ambition!"

'Washing dishes, why?'

The Non-Sporting Group

'Could he phone you back... he's in the middle of his favourite TV program.'

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

"You missed breakfast and lunch and haven't left your bed so it's not worth you getting up now. Good night!"

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

'Don't just sit around all day. Go pollinate something?'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'I was sick and tired of weaving webs all the time: I buy fly paper now...'

"Nothing stops my pursuit of inertia."

'Why iron the back? No one can see the back.'

'Ah, business as usual.'

'If the early bird gets the worm, I'm sleeping in.'

'She's a lap cat.'

"I'm so bored: All my parents ever do as a family activity is 'soaking up the sun'..."

"They both like to have their stomachs scratched."

A dog drinks from a toilet with a long straw.

"I said he should exercise more, so he bought a walk in bath."

"In my day we walked to the litter box."

"You told the doctor your exercise was surfing?"

"Apparently, I'm a key demographic in the eyes of most major advertisers. You must hate that."

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

'Where do you keep the coffee cups, the sugar, the cream, the two eggs over light, and the morning paper?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

Police Feline Unit

Catman

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'Dear Diary, all I did today was eat, watch TV and make an appearance in the 'Fusco Brothers'...'

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody

"The guy who's training me is a real loser...I can't believe people try really hard to do as little work as possible."

'The Canadian browned off bear prefers to spend its winters vegetating.'

He's worked here about two weeks, but he's been with the company six years.