Laziness Historian Pillows

Homo Zapiens

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

Ultra-lazy sloth

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"I want to work from home!"

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the trouble you went through to get yourself cloned."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

The Bronze Age of Television

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'But I feel quite healthy.'

Crumbs of Comfort

"The great thing about being bad at your job is nobody asks you for help with their work."

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

'Yesterday you pulled 8 muscles when you sneezed. I think it's time you started exercising again.'

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

Couch potato thinks: 'This sure beats having a life.'

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

Self-Walking Legs

"At least TRY to look as busy as a bee!"

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

"I don't have to fetch his slippers anymore. His drone does it."

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

'Call me lazy if you want, but I wouldn't trade my life with anybody else's...'

The Wonder Years: "I wonder where my keys are. I wonder why I came upstairs. I wonder why my pants are down..."

"When good hamsters go bad."

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

'Sloth? We prefer Creature of Persistent Inactivity.'

'I am not lazy, I have a disease. It's called couchaholism.'

"I'm not picky—whatever's wounded."