Lawn Artist T-Shirts

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

Garden Centre mowers

"Yes!"

Cricket Widows Rule

Garden Roller

"I love what you've done with your henge."

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

'Paint your lawn, ma'am?'

'It's my cure for wash pan hands - in a couple of weeks the wife will never find me out here!'

'You're not CAPABILITY Brown, are you?'

Mohawk grass cutting

Football fan

"I haven't seen Bob for over an hour Mom. I think he's outside playing with his new hover mower."

The Scottish Lawn

The Busy Gardener

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

"First time pruning?"

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Burt was a true artist and conservationist. He recycled his beer cans...Making an ornate garden wall and rockery.

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

Digging.

Watering the garden gnome

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

Beware of the Lawn