Lawmaker Laugh Pillows

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

Clive Anderson

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

CONGRESS, 'You know, we wouldn't need a pay hike if we got commissions on our appropriations.'

'It's a simple rule of thumb -- if at first you don't succeed, blame the media!'

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

Al Baldasaro

"Mr. Speaker, I would like to request an additional thirty seconds to approach my esteemed colleague from across the aisle and punch him the face."

"Here they call it Congress, but I like to think of it as my muse."

'I'll be frank with you -- to adequately represent you in Congress, I have to be a crook.'

'I need a lawyer who specializes in guilty people.'

"There's definitely less interference from the new speaker."

"Let's celebrate Friday! Show me again how good my numbers are compared to Congress!"

"I can assure you, Your Honor, my client isn't a flight risk."

Junket mail

'Gosh, I love government, Ed. Just when you begin to lose faith in the system, along comes a fresh crop of idealistic young lawmakers with an invigorating brand of gridlock all their own!'

'Wait a minute! How do I know this won't add to the budget deficit?'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"We've decided to settle our of quart."

'Did you read the stimulus package bill?' - 'Nah - I decided to wait for the movie.'

'Is it just me or are we showing more leg this year?'

2019 Debate: "I'd like to begin by calling my opponent a babbling idiot!"

"Are you aware under the new terrorism laws I can hold you without charge for up to 90 days?"

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

Bureaucrats cooking up a new policy soup...

He's Having A Hard Time Letting Go (Congress Perks).

News: New service aids in crossing the Commons floor.

"Actually lying doesn't come that easily to me. I have to work at it."

'The scruffy gits Fawkes.'

'May I see some photo ID?'