Lawmaker Laugh Prints

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

Clive Anderson

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

'It's a simple rule of thumb -- if at first you don't succeed, blame the media!'

CONGRESS, 'You know, we wouldn't need a pay hike if we got commissions on our appropriations.'

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

Al Baldasaro

'I'll be frank with you -- to adequately represent you in Congress, I have to be a crook.'

'I need a lawyer who specializes in guilty people.'

"Let's celebrate Friday! Show me again how good my numbers are compared to Congress!"

"There's definitely less interference from the new speaker."

Junket mail

'Gosh, I love government, Ed. Just when you begin to lose faith in the system, along comes a fresh crop of idealistic young lawmakers with an invigorating brand of gridlock all their own!'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'Wait a minute! How do I know this won't add to the budget deficit?'

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

"Are you aware under the new terrorism laws I can hold you without charge for up to 90 days?"

"We've decided to settle our of quart."

2019 Debate: "I'd like to begin by calling my opponent a babbling idiot!"

'Did you read the stimulus package bill?' - 'Nah - I decided to wait for the movie.'

'Is it just me or are we showing more leg this year?'

Bureaucrats cooking up a new policy soup...

He's Having A Hard Time Letting Go (Congress Perks).

Boy accused of vandalism pleads 'limited liability'

'May I see some photo ID?'

News: New service aids in crossing the Commons floor.

"Actually lying doesn't come that easily to me. I have to work at it."

'The scruffy gits Fawkes.'