Lawful Good Fan Pillows

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

Antonin Scalia

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”

Solicitor tells cats: 'It's unorthodox, I know, but old Mrs Featherstone has left her entire estate to her immediate family.'

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

"I'm not that kind of pro-Bono lawyer."

"I charge by the grain."

Man behind desk has glass case with Lawyer Repellant

"My client demands a jury trial."

"So Mr. Garvin asked, did we all have an understanding in writing? And I said, maybe we can talk about that."

'Drop it! Drop the Lawsuit!'

The Washington Arbitrators