Law And Fun Fan Pillows

'Objection! Leading the witness in a game of peek-a-boo.'

Trial by Media

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

Arrest of La Tuta

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”

Solicitor tells cats: 'It's unorthodox, I know, but old Mrs Featherstone has left her entire estate to her immediate family.'

Bobsled Police.

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

"I'm not that kind of pro-Bono lawyer."

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

"I charge by the grain."

'My client is willing to endure raised eyebrows from the general public for his behaviour.'

"Your team should sign that bluebottle, it has chased the ball all over the pitch."

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

"My client demands a jury trial."

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

The Washington Arbitrators

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

'The defense rests.'