Law Humor Lover Pillows

'What parking offence are you in for?'

"Pledge Kavanaugh reporting for hazing."

'Dang it! - They've got anti-smoking laws HERE, too!'

"My immigration lawyer wasn't was good as I thought. He was deported."

Law Firm of Kellog and Keith: Never An Ambulance Chaser.

'Objection! That could be anybody's footprint!'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Baby's first words.