Law Humor Lover Pillows

'What parking offence are you in for?'

You get three years for tax evasion, plus a late fee, and interest compounded daily, so your total comes to, let's see

"Pledge Kavanaugh reporting for hazing."

'Dang it! - They've got anti-smoking laws HERE, too!'

"My immigration lawyer wasn't was good as I thought. He was deported."

Law Firm of Kellog and Keith: Never An Ambulance Chaser.

'Objection! That could be anybody's footprint!'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We make crime pay."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

A baby in court

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'