Law And Humor Lover Pillows

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Night of the living will

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

'I understand Benson is the principle partner here.'

Corporate Lawyers

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

'Todd here syas our plank is to narrow and may lead to lawsuits.'

We Remove Lawyer Residue

"No it's not. That's his defense lawyer."

'This is a very important trial, Ferguson -- you'd better put pants on.'

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

"The defendant is a danger to society and poses a flight risk."

'Do you honestly expect this court to believe, Mr. Chicken, that your only reason for crossing the road, on the night in question, was to get to the other side?'

'During discovery we found five more things to bill about.'

"You want the truth, the whole truth, or nothing but the truth?"

"Having a real pitbull for an attorney was great...at first."