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'Can't say. It's private.'

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

'... Now this releases me from any liability. And this form ...' 'Fred's legal experiences in civilian life interfered with his work in a war zone.'

"Dad won a prize! A policeman gave us a ticket good for $150!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

R. H. Gross - Criminal Law

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'I'm afraid Ill have to disqualify myself from presiding in this case- I can't stand bald-headed men with moustaches.'

Sorry, Officer, since I wasn't talking on my cell phone I forgot I was driving,

'Congratulations. It's an eight pound court reporter.'

Crime - Punishment.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Wal-Mart Ruling

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Violent Crime Statistics

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Lady Justice.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.