Law Enforcement Culture Gifts

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

The Circular Logic of Fascism

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

Privacy Conference Security

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Totalitarian Humour

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"Careful! He knows computers."

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Mobsters at the Beach

Racial Profiling

Old West Bounty Hunter.

Scars and Bars

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

Family traits.

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'