Law Abiding Skeptic Gifts

"Do you know how fast I was traveling? Officer, that's between you and this self-driving car."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Open House of Horrors

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Mac, I told you last week a collar and a tag aren't enough - there's a leash law in this town.'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

Law Offices

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

"60 may be the new 50 in the fantasy land you live in, but here in the real world, it's called exceeding the speed limit."

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

'Welcome to HARDNOSE CITY. . . Go directly to jail, next 3 exits.'

'Sorry, pal. Illiteracy is no excuse for breaking the law.'

Oscar Jennings, unregistered nurse.

No Zone: 'Don't know about you, Alf - But I might as well have stayed in with the missus!'

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

'So help me, which god?'

'No, officer, I wasn't driving erratically while talking on the cell phone. I was text messaging.'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

Some mistakenly think 'HOV Lane' means Hot Occupant Vehicles.

'Oh my god!'

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

'I blame the internet.'

"I'm suing my scales manufacturer for slander!"

No Smoking Building.

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

'I can't believe you think that hypnotist was for real.'