Laundry Scientist Gifts

The Incredible Shrinking Man, explained at long last.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Moses separating his Laundry.

The Missing Sock Returns

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

A man washing a mascot costume

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Dreams I have had...

"So that's where all the socks ended up!"

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Santa's wash day.

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

"To be joined together as a matched pair, in cleanliness and in filth, until separation in the laundry do you part?"

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

'Sorting the laundry is hell.'

"Why do I always gain socks in the wash?" "In a Parallel Universe"

"What can you do with him?"

Odysseus returns to the Laundromat

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"And do you, Scott, take Amy, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, through mysterious separations of indefinite duration, as long as you both may live?"

"I'm making him take a spin class."