Laundry Perfectionists T-Shirts

'For the love of God, does anybody have a stain stick?'

"First time pruning?"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

'Caw blimey!'

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Santa's wash day.

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

"I'm making him take a spin class."

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

'Sorting the laundry is hell.'

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"And do you, Scott, take Amy, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, through mysterious separations of indefinite duration, as long as you both may live?"

"Why do I always gain socks in the wash?" "In a Parallel Universe"

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

"We've done it! We've done it! We've discovered a detergent that takes the chore out of washing and makes all other detergents seem old-fashioned by comparison!"

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'