Laughter In The Lab Pillows

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'Catch this!'

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

"I feel it's only fair to warn you, Dr. Thompson, that watching cell division can be quite stimulating!"

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

"The doctor will see you now."

'Here's the problem, sir. This isn't blood in your veins. It's red ink.'

"Now watch his reaction when I cough on him."

'Did you ever have a feeling you're being watched?'

The Inventor of Scratch and Sniff

'Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing.'

'Keep this to yourself, Henderson, this will fund our research for the next ten years!'

"Oops!" "Never say that in a DNA lab!"

Breakthrough by a comic

Cats make lousy lab pets.

"Multitasking is the goal, Ed, but singletasking would be temporarily acceptable."

'To be grown on this site - genetic engineering labs'

"What' this?! I said to find me a brain!"

"I don't like the look of things, Henshaw."

'How many quarks in a gallon again?'

'It's been running so many test for flu, strep and staph that I thnk it's come down with something.'

"It's only a conflict of interest if the data turns out good."

"I'll take the bottom bunk."

"Professor Jones was the leading scientist in his field."

"Looks like the copier's broken down again."

'My god, Harry. At least my family goes home after two weeks. These people have been poking around in our business for three years.'

"Between you and me, I'm on performance enhancing drugs."

"I've finished the office 'Risk Assessment'...I've locked away the office pencil..."