Lab Life Chuckles Pillows

'How many quarks in a gallon again?'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

Frankenfish

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"I feel it's only fair to warn you, Dr. Thompson, that watching cell division can be quite stimulating!"

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

Laboratory- risk assessor

'More or less?'

'The stand-up geneticist'

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

'Here's the problem, sir. This isn't blood in your veins. It's red ink.'

Scientific Tea.

"Now watch his reaction when I cough on him."

Recombinant DNA Lab.

'Remember? It's me, Rick. I used to have the probe attached to my brain...'

"Oh, not bad, except that the entomologists keep bugging me."

'Marie and Pierre Curie began with several tons of pitchblende...'

'Did you ever have a feeling you're being watched?'

'Well, now that you've found a cure, all our funding will be sent to another division.'

"Have you dined with us before?"

"His is a thought experiment."

The Inventor of Scratch and Sniff

'Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing.'

'Keep this to yourself, Henderson, this will fund our research for the next ten years!'

"They don't trust each other to share research."

"Oops!" "Never say that in a DNA lab!"

Science Friction.

"Dog food! Why the hell don't they test it on dogs?"