Lab Laugh Pillows

'Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing.'

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Jerk Gene

Frankenfish

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"I feel it's only fair to warn you, Dr. Thompson, that watching cell division can be quite stimulating!"

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

'The stand-up geneticist'

Laboratory- risk assessor

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

"The doctor will see you now."

'Here's the problem, sir. This isn't blood in your veins. It's red ink.'

Recombinant DNA Lab.

'Remember? It's me, Rick. I used to have the probe attached to my brain...'

'Marie and Pierre Curie began with several tons of pitchblende...'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

'Your experimental protocol fails to take into consideration, the astrological signs of the fruit flies.'

'Did you ever have a feeling you're being watched?'

"Oh, no! Is there a doctor in the mouse?"

When Chemists take acid trips.

The Inventor of Scratch and Sniff

"His is a thought experiment."

"...so he comes back into the room, he turns around, he puts the chicken on the table and he says, "All right, potassium chloride.""

'Keep this to yourself, Henderson, this will fund our research for the next ten years!'

"Oops!" "Never say that in a DNA lab!"

"Dog food! Why the hell don't they test it on dogs?"

Consumer Safety Testing Lab. Bake-it Toy Oven. We have lots of work to do --- Now get the lead out!

'Perhaps the reason test drug CYM1570268 kills mice, but not people is because mice are different from people.' 'And he'll probably win a Nobel Prize for that theory.'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Cats make lousy lab pets.

"What' this?! I said to find me a brain!"