Laughing Through Life Gifts

"Of course - as a private patient you'd get little extras-like anaesthetic..."

'The good news is your ailment is named after me, the bad news is there is no cure,'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Snowprov

"I need to tinkle."

"This stool shall pass."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Two circus clowns see each other dressed for a costume party.

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

Missing my hair.

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Hypnotoon

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

'Nana!'

"You came up in therapy today."

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

Child's slipper getting caught in a mousetrap.

The serious corporation

"Glad you have time for lunch today, honey."

'Well sure, YOU'VE got brakes on FOUR wheels!'

A therapist reads to his patient from a joke book.

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

MD. We fixed your leg. It

IRS. That was a rough audit. They disallowed all of my deductions! You can't claim all these people as dependents ... The business expenses are not correct ... and the charitable contributions don't meet guidelines. You're shredding my return with that?! Wow! Ut was The Taxes Chainsaw Massacre!

'This reminds me of something funny. Remember the day I was shopping in that china shop and suddenly sneezed?'

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

'Wow! Where'd you come from?'

I don't understand why I need a referral from my primary-care doctor to see a specialist I've already seen, who told me himself to come back for a follow-up visit. That's just the way it works. You'll also need a referral from your tailor before we can put you in a hospital gown.

"Remove your shoes and socks. We ran out of laughing gas"