Laugh Quester Gifts

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Snowprov

"That'll be five bucks."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

When clowns are hunting.

"Projectile hairballing."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"What did Jesus order?"

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

Drunk Barber

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

King and Jester

"Hey! Get back here!"

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Football heads...

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'