Laugh Quester T-Shirts

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Snowprov

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"That'll be five bucks."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"What did Jesus order?"

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

When clowns are hunting.

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

"Projectile hairballing."

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

Drunk Barber

"Hey! Get back here!"

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

King and Jester

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Football heads...

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."