Late-night Film Fan Gifts

'And now the late film, which contains foul language...'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Getting to Know You

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Reese Witherspoon

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Spoiler alert."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

'Say, are you in the mood for a Spielberg?'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

Quentin Tarantino

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

"The cape comes off too."

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'