Late Fee Evader Pillows

'We take late returns very seriously at this library Mr Wilson!'

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

'My philosophy is to sit down and the hell with being counted.'

Book from the Library of Alexandria. Woman says: 'Have you seen how overdue this book is?'

'The doctor's office said you cancelled your appointment and put a restraining order on the rest of them.'

Time-Off Coupons

Your library book is overdue.

"I see no new taxes, followed by some new taxes."

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

'I had it all - then the IRS found where I had it hidden.'

'Sure it's an impressive collection. Too bad they're all overdue library books.'

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

Infernal Revenue Service

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

"How much do we owe them?"

"Someday I'll hire lots of smart people to work for me."

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

Fiction: 'Filling in your tax returns'

'My homework is escaping.'

Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.

"Thank God you're just my wife's lover! I thought you were from the Inland Revenue!"

'New dog?' - 'Yes, and no more food bills, no vets fees.'

'Can we avoid going through the insurance company.'

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

Gerald is convinced that not paying any taxes is the best revenge

Financial Advisor. Will you meet expenses this month? Unless I find a really good hiding place.

"What an exhausting weekend! I made too may commitments Friday during Happy Hour and spent Saturday and Sunday weaseling out of them."

'There's not room enough for both of us in this tax bracket, Henderson!'

"Is this the First State Bank? I need a loan...about $1 million."

'First of all, sir, do you have your blood pressure medication with you?'

"Cyberspace ate my homework."

Recent studies show that a man's fear of commitment extends to the television, where he suffers an unrelenting paranoia that something better is on another channel.

"A book report? -- Wouldn't that be a copyright violation?"