Expense Evader Pillows

'New dog?' - 'Yes, and no more food bills, no vets fees.'

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

'We take late returns very seriously at this library Mr Wilson!'

"And then he said he wanted $50,000 for it."

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

'I had it all - then the IRS found where I had it hidden.'

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

"He's not good with change!"

The coward's way out.

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

Infernal Revenue Service

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

"How much do we owe them?"

Accounting makes a 300 million dollar error, yet they always nail me on my expense account.

Fiction: 'Filling in your tax returns'

"Thank God you're just my wife's lover! I thought you were from the Inland Revenue!"

'I found I'm able to maintain my disposition by not watching any economic or employment news.'

'Can we avoid going through the insurance company.'

"Math scares me so much I can't even add it to my list of anxieties."

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

'I tried to do my term paper, but the video store doesn't have ANYTHING about the Spanish-American War!'

"He has an unhealthy obsession with health apps."

"Mr. Rod, my dad wants to clean the garage tomorrow...and he needs me to pack boxes and haul tons of stuff. It'll probably take all day!"

'First of all, sir, do you have your blood pressure medication with you?'

"A book report? -- Wouldn't that be a copyright violation?"

"You can't say the dog ate your homework, it's really hackneyed. Say your mother is addicted to prescription drugs."