Conan the Librarian.
Late Book Return Defender Gifts
Looking for a gift for the late book return defender? Find humorous, thoughtful products that celebrate their love for books and their quirky sense of responsibility. Perfect for those who keep stories alive long after the due date.
Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'
"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."
"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"
Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.
"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."
Fiction. Mystery. History.
Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.
"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"
"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"
'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'
'How long did you try before calling?'
Locking Up Crime
'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'
Man reading a book in the library. Notices a man next to him reading all book about spying.
John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.
"Where's your section of books that tell you simple things you already know?"
We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.
"That book is kept downstairs in the Big Secret Important Book Room."
"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"
Mystery and suspense at the library.
'She said to read between the lines to infer the answer, but it's hard to see in between them because they're so close together.'
'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'
Book Burning is Always Wrong?
Menifee Madness
Oliver Twist - Oliver,with the Pickpocketing Artful Dodger's Mode
"I've been sent from the future to stop Harper Lee from complicating the legacy of a beloved fictional character."
"I can destroy your bank of knowledge with one blast from my destructo-beam!"
Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.
"What about this book, boss?" "Yeah, get rid of it—it's got too many long words in it."
Murder mystery bookshelf falls on passerby.
Nonviolent Clue.
Library of War and Peace
J.F. Bonner 1886 - 1974. Soldier, Statesman, Author, Philanthropist. Trivialized by the media 1986.
Stolen Crime Books.
Late Book Return Defender Gifts Collection
Late Book Return Defender Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs that honor the late book return defender—ideal for brightening their day with a humorous touch.
Late Book Return Defender Pillows
Find cozy pillows featuring witty designs for the late book return defender—perfect for their reading corner.
Late Book Return Defender Prints
Decorate with art prints that showcase the fun side of being a late book return defender—great for any book lover’s space.
Late Book Return Defender T-Shirts
Check out our t-shirts that playfully celebrate the late book return defender’s literary spirit and sense of humor.