Last Rites Pillows

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

"My Tia Carmen keeps this shrine..."

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"So that's what it means to unwind before dinner."

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

"In a multiple choice exam if in doubt always go for D, because that's about what grade you'll end up with!"

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

"Stop the clowning, Johnson. The final isn't going to be all that bad."

"Goodbye old girl. They'll never issue another bag quite like you."

Confirmation of Westminster School Boys at the Abbey

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

"Now there's one less conspiracy theorist in the world - or is there?"

"It was my husbands dying wish to be buried in his herb garden."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

'I feel ridiculous!'

"I'd like to extend a special welcome to those of you who are joining us for the first time, as part of a nightmare you're having."

"Mr. Murillo couldn't understand how I could make so many mistakes. So I told him that you helped me write it."

'It was his last request. 'Once around the park'.'

Cat in Hearse

'Bless me, Father - I'm a father.'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

'I do like a smoke afterwards.'

"You've got to admit—he looks good."

The Last Perm.

"So I'm flying over this funeral, and six men point their rifles at me and start shooting."

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."