Last Hurrah Planner Pillows

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

Out To Lurch

Margarita

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

"Death coach..."

'My dress is thirteen years old today!'

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

'Well, this is definitely the last time I shake a bottle of Champagne before opening it.'

'What a control freak!'

"As your CPA, I would recommend you count the number of eggs before you hide them."

Biodegradable helium balloons.

'You add the girl after baking.'

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

Florist.

'You're laying down that bottle for when Rich graduates from college? Don't you ever want to drink it?'

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

'I have to say Joey: That's a funny way to have a sleepover!'

'My backup special...'

'Darling, I told you not to call me at work.'

Two grooms and a cat on a wedding cake.

'Can I sleep over in the real world? Please, please, please, please.'

'The end is near.'

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

'The last time you had a slumber party, it took a week to unclog the drains.'

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."

"No, you can't go out like that. Just because the world is ending is no reason to dress like a heathen."

Birthday cake

'Why so early?'