Quirky Last Wish Planner Pillows

"He's arranged to have his ashes snorted by Keith Richards."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"Here's something for all you animal lovers out there..."

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'

Bad Office Planning

"The sign said 'No Shoes, No Service.' This could be a long wait."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"If you're not doing anything after work, come by the conference room. We're going to be cracking open some beers and throwing some burgers on the copier."

"Thanks for a lovely evening, fancy coming in for some nitrous oxide?"

'Darling. Let's get the Gustavssons over this weekend for some more bare knuckle boxing.'

Me, Alice and God

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

'I bet you thought I'd forgotten our anniversary.'

"Legally, we're a farm."

A dog party using toilet water and a toilet as their version of a Punchbowl.

'Why not just serve Thanksgiving dinner in the shoe department next year and be done with it??'

O'Leary's Monuments

"Maybe we should go to my place after all!"

Dinner

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

"Mike, are you sure you want to eat here? There's something funny about this place."

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I forgot to defrost the walrus.'

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

a drink at the pub

'Happy Birthday To You...'

"Would a bunny suit have made a difference?"