Laser Pointers Gifts

'Dinsdale keeps harassing me with his laser pointer!'

"This is it, Mittens! The ultimate laser pointer!"

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

Epic Battles

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

"Is that your answer to everything? 'Chase the dot?'"

Throg, Destroyer of Worlds...and cat.

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'We dreamed of this day and it's finally here... Behold the 'anti-Sandler ray'!'

Autumn Leaves

Be a leader

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

'He's trained to the laser pointer.'

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

"Tab! Control yourself! For God's sake just look away!"

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

'Isn't it great to learn traditional skills passed down through the ages? Hand me the laser knife, please.'

John's Laser Shop and Eye Patches 4 U Shops

Porcupine reading book on 'Needlepoint'

"Jessica could you call Tech Support and ask when the lazer was last calibrated please?"

'Well, yes, sometimes there can be side effects to laser eye surgery!'

"I am trying to pay attention to you, but your little brother keeps distracting me with a laser pointer."

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, I'm twelve years old and I still can't make a half-court shot in basketball. What should I do? - Moe. Moe, I know you want a quick fix, but there's no substitute for hard work. Master the half-court shot the way I mastered needle-point, practice five hours a day for seventy-five years … while giving your competitors backhanded compliments. With diligence, you'll eventually outlive anyone who knows your failings … which means they never

High School Science Project Competition

Two victorian women sitting on a bobbin

Laser Beam Playing Record.

"We'd never get these little dogies to Tucson without a laser pointer."

Needlepoint Viewpoint

I get knocked down and I stay there

Never give up! Unless it's really h.....

'It's supposed to be the most fun place on earth.'