Laser Pointer Lover Gifts

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

"Tab! Control yourself! For God's sake just look away!"

"This is it, Mittens! The ultimate laser pointer!"

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Epic Battles

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."

"Is that your answer to everything? 'Chase the dot?'"

Throg, Destroyer of Worlds...and cat.

"Ready. Aim. Pew! Pew!"

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'We dreamed of this day and it's finally here... Behold the 'anti-Sandler ray'!'

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

'He's trained to the laser pointer.'

"Let's say that's better without, shall we?"

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

Self-Portrait

'Well, so much for the ump. Higgins, go tell the P.A. announcer to warn the spectators about the irresponsible use of laser pointers.'

Rebels without a magic marker

"Oh, ignore that. Penny likes to play with laser pointers."

John's Laser Shop and Eye Patches 4 U Shops

'Isn't it great to learn traditional skills passed down through the ages? Hand me the laser knife, please.'

"Jessica could you call Tech Support and ask when the lazer was last calibrated please?"

'Well, yes, sometimes there can be side effects to laser eye surgery!'

"I am trying to pay attention to you, but your little brother keeps distracting me with a laser pointer."

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, I'm twelve years old and I still can't make a half-court shot in basketball. What should I do? - Moe. Moe, I know you want a quick fix, but there's no substitute for hard work. Master the half-court shot the way I mastered needle-point, practice five hours a day for seventy-five years … while giving your competitors backhanded compliments. With diligence, you'll eventually outlive anyone who knows your failings … which means they never

"Come on, what's Christmas without special effects?"

"We'd never get these little dogies to Tucson without a laser pointer."

Laser Beam Playing Record.

'It's not the boring company meetings that make me go crazy...it's those presentations with the laser light pointers!'

"Now, without chasing it, I want you to follow the laser dot."

'Especially if it's a teacher's red pen.'