Larry David Fan Pillows

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

YOLO vs YODO

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

Julianne Moore,

Our Summer Without Dave

Philip Kindred Dick

"Your team should sign that bluebottle, it has chased the ball all over the pitch."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

'I could really do with a change, couldn't you?'

QANON PROUD BOY

"I can handle the boss's angry looks...it's when he start breathing like Darth Vader."

Woman on a Pedestal. . . Who Married the Mothers Boy.

Yes, wisdom does come with age, but it's not because we've had time to Google everything.

'Uh oh. Cougar alert.'

Aliens pondering the attack on civilization: If we destroyed the human race, who would make all the wonderful movies about us.'

Movies About Military Families

Football Drinks

Mohamed Salah

"Aside from the foot, do you think my parking's getting better?"

'I'm sorry, but you missed too many easy layups.'

'I've always been a great fan of yours. I wrote all your books!'

'Objection! Leading the witness in a game of peek-a-boo.'

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'

'Oh yeah? Well, my dad can beat up your dad!'

"Seen my Brad Pitt mask?"

Felicity Rose Hadley Jones caricature

Alien Santa

"I mean - how big can this Goliath guy be?"

"I'll never understand grown ups. They make you go back to school the day after New Year, then wonder what causes post-holiday doldrums."