Davids Biggest Fan Pillows

Our Summer Without Dave

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

Chris Froome

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

Football Delivery

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

'The Big Beg Theory'

Philip Kindred Dick

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

"Sometimes I question his priorities."

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

'Yes, she does need orthotics, but the good news is that you have good health insurance...'

Mohamed Salah

"Domestic or foreign object beer?"

I love Kung Fu.

Michael Jackson

Wacko Jacko Heart Attacko No Comebacko.

'Is this irony or coincidence?'

'Oh yeah? Well, my dad can beat up your dad!'

"In my spare time I'm a doctor."

Major Tom

"I mean - how big can this Goliath guy be?"

"She checked her boyfriend's internet history and found he'd been downloading jazz."

'...and don't ever get near his nose. You never know where that thing's been!'

Angel & devil in raft fantasizing about food.

'It's become a bit of a school tradition.'

"You'll pay for that...!"

I hope you brought enough beer boxes for all the dads.

Football prayers.

Food, Water And Tips

He takes England's losses very personally.

Pernille Mosegaard Harder

'Quick! -- Who won the last eleven World Cups?'