Lapdog General Gifts

"First let me give you my conspectus."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

'I think they're up to something.'

"Now there's a weapon of mass destruction."

'Well, he's always been a hero to me.'

Jogging...

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

'Tired of fetching?'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

"We're making the World a safer place for nuclear explosions."

Bernice Mountain Dog

"He wants a second opinion."

"Uh...I wonder if this is still a good idea."

"Ahh, shade."

Actualities - The European Equilibrium

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

"The emotional support goes both ways."

"I may be a dinosaur, sir, but I am the Tyrannosaurus Rex!"

"Let's see... water pick, tin foil, snorkel..."

"For whom the Bella yips... it yips for thee..."

'War!... What's it good for?'

"Today U.S. Defense Industry stocks rose on news Dick Cheney endorsed Donald Trump."

Military history

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

"If we don't comply, they're threatening us with liberation."

"I'm basically a simple dog. Just give me a place to lay my head and lift my leg."

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

The emotional rollercoaster of a Lab

War HeroWar Exit Strategy Hero.

'I could have sworn I put the Waterloo battle plan in here.'