Language Libertarian Gifts

UK Censors Office...

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

Campaign for Plain English

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Backfire

Punctuation Police

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

Lesser known greek gods,

'The Questioner'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Nuts to you, too."

Sauce for the Goose