Language Learning Skeptic Gifts

"Press one to speak in English with a non-English speaking customer service representative..."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

What's normal?

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

The Family Joules: Part 21

'Stick them up...'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'