Language Funster Pillows

"Clean up on isle 1."

Cheeze Wiz.

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

Pirates

The TROU of the Baroque

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

The last of the mullet.

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

"That is six feet."

'We find the defendant to be TOAST.'

Dressed as Tins

"Okay, I'll wear a tie."

Person playing the cymbals.

Food Science Lab. There's jealousy among the peanut butter molecules. "Smooth" does out all the time and "chunky" can't get a date.

The real reason the Chinese emperor built the great wall.

NASA Mission Control Room & Out of Control Room

Twins

"My French is OK but you should really see my Reportese..."

The ozone and the ozone layer.

'Nobody's looking -- how about a third-eye opener?'

"I don't care how much you saved. This is the LAST time we fly on vacation with a budget airline!"

Protection Plan for Ancient Stones - 'Why don't they just make them stop touring?'

The Cheshire Dog.

I don't think this "jewelry" fad will catch on.

"Straw, sticks and bricks are in aisle seventeen. Wolf repellent is in aisle four."

"I didn't bring an apple, so how about a fruit roll up?"