Language Evolutionists Pillows

"Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet... Wait, what the heck is a 'tuffet'?! Who says 'tuffet'? Shouldn't it be 'ottoman'?"

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

"Don't forget to call it a 'procedure'—it makes it less scary."

Witch's spell check.

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

'English is their second language.'

Now that we've invented language, we have to be careful not to get quoted out of context.

We hadn't realised your body language was French....

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

Yep, that's me in a pea pod! In a pea pod�?? I think "nutshell" has been vastly overused.

The Emergence Of Language

"It's eagle before snake except after feather."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"All those in favor of saying 'It's a wrap' instead of 'Meeting adjourned' say 'Aye.' "

"The creative writing part is that I've created new ways to spell words."

"We don't say 'giddyup' anymore."

"Yes Spooner, I said 'pool party'."

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

'Our customer service was lousy, but from now on, we'll give the personal touch. Let's write to 'Hey lassies and dudes, what's up?'

'Actually, they like to read, but so little is translated into dog.'

Woe Befall the Linguistic Interloper

Obedience School Spelling Bee

"Good night, son - sweet dreams and a great sleep experience."

'A few years ago that wouldn't have even sounded like a sentence.'

'Thanks, it's an English word - it means 'spiritual warrior'.'

At the end of the day everything on the table is low-hanging fruit.

'You don't want your son to learn Latin? Don't worry, he's already decided that for himself!'