Language Evolution Pillows

"I don't need a club or a spear, now that I've mastered sarcasm."

"First I was part of the hoi polloi, Then I spent time with a gathering crowd. Now I'm a member of the urban masses."

'Listen Mum and Dad, an 'Outing' used to mean a family picnic but it has a different meaning nowadays...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Punctuation Police

Backfire

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

What's normal?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Lesser known greek gods,

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

Wok. Don't Wok.

'The Questioner'

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'