Language Evolution Follower Pillows

'We don't call it 'locked up' anymore. We now call it 'travel compromised'.'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"He just said his first word!"

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"His first word was 'Dotcom'."

United Church of OMG

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

'Mmm...Smells like waffles!'

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

Babble. Pbl. Babama. Bbb. Brb. Bod.

Palin 2012

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

That might not work, EU...

American Bombs

"I've recorded every noise my baby makes, so that when he's older I can play it back and he can tell me what he was trying to say. . .!"

Hide me. Under the table. What's the matter? He's coming. Who. Who??? The wolf! The hairy man. The insatiable and relentless one. Didn't we just finish an election cycle? There he is! Oh no! The 2020 elections are around the corner. Wolf Blitzer! Run! I'll tune in tomorrow. Don't eat me! CNN.

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

Baby Crossword Puzzle.

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

'Great news, Mr President You've been nominated for the Nobel War Prize'

"Well, you have to admire his honesty."

"Find out what the people want so I can tell it like it is."

If Bush Had Told Us the Truth After 9/11

Foreign policy

An Arm and a Leg.

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

Try and ride Brexit the donkey

'He's said his first words...' 'Replacement bus service.'

"Well, I don't think we should count on much help from the Russians this election."

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."