Language Evolution Follower Pillows

'We don't call it 'locked up' anymore. We now call it 'travel compromised'.'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"He just said his first word!"

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"His first word was 'Dotcom'."

Palin 2012

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

United Church of OMG

'Mmm...Smells like waffles!'

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

That might not work, EU...

"I've recorded every noise my baby makes, so that when he's older I can play it back and he can tell me what he was trying to say. . .!"

American Bombs

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

Baby Crossword Puzzle.

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

"Well, you have to admire his honesty."

'Great news, Mr President You've been nominated for the Nobel War Prize'

"Find out what the people want so I can tell it like it is."

An Arm and a Leg.

Meanwhile, back at the GOP presidential candidate interviews. . .

Try and ride Brexit the donkey

"I Win!!!"

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

'He's said his first words...' 'Replacement bus service.'