Language Evolutionists Gifts

"Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet... Wait, what the heck is a 'tuffet'?! Who says 'tuffet'? Shouldn't it be 'ottoman'?"

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

"Don't forget to call it a 'procedure'—it makes it less scary."

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

Witch's spell check.

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

'English is their second language.'

We hadn't realised your body language was French....

The Emergence Of Language

"It's eagle before snake except after feather."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"All those in favor of saying 'It's a wrap' instead of 'Meeting adjourned' say 'Aye.' "

"The creative writing part is that I've created new ways to spell words."

"We don't say 'giddyup' anymore."

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

"Yes Spooner, I said 'pool party'."

'Actually, they like to read, but so little is translated into dog.'

'Our customer service was lousy, but from now on, we'll give the personal touch. Let's write to 'Hey lassies and dudes, what's up?'

Obedience School Spelling Bee

"Good night, son - sweet dreams and a great sleep experience."

'Thanks, it's an English word - it means 'spiritual warrior'.'

Cat barking.

'You don't want your son to learn Latin? Don't worry, he's already decided that for himself!'

At the end of the day everything on the table is low-hanging fruit.