Language And Vocabulary Pillows

'Mother, the other children won't permit me to participate in their activities -- they allege that I have elitist tendencies.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Backfire

Punctuation Police

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Lesser known greek gods,

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary