Language And Communication Pillows

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."

'No no no - the narrator didn't say that, he said this...'

Squawk dirty to me...

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

A Copy Editor and His Dog