Language And Words Pillows

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Thru versus Through Traffic

Torturing the English Language

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Backfire

Punctuation Police

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'The Questioner'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

Wok. Don't Wok.