Landlubber Jokers T-Shirts

Sailor in Car.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

"I'd rather be at the office."

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

"Oh, bugger!"

"So I reckon this is your first rodeo."

'That would be way embarrassing.'

The G-nome Project (Mapping the genome).

'It's hop,hop,skip,rattle,rattle. Remember, the second rattle is the difference between curing jungle fever or just relieving the patient of uncomfortable gas.'

'I think I'll walk to work today.'

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

"1-800 Herd of Elephants."

'Every week a sum of money the size of this rainforest disappears to service the UK's national debt.'

'Why the Coyote Crossed the Road?'

"Listen, I've got a catchphrase,...'mind that coconut!'"

'The deceased was a member of their running club.'

"Did you notice the 30 mph sign back there?"

'Let's be careful this morning, the patient's wife informed me that he broke a chain-letter recently.'

"I don't like the look of things, Henshaw."

Literal Following of Directions: RUN

Death Goes For A Jog

'Instead of hunting tonight, why don't we call our insurance agent, say we want to get Medigap coverage, and eat him when he arrives?'

Let's stop at the next exit. We may need an antacid, if I read the sign correctly."

"I'm allergic to ice."

'Exercise without pain? But what would the point be?'

'Heh, heh - So how does it feel to be the victim for a change?'