Land Forces Gifts

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'Those two peaks are definitely the most popular with the men.'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

"My family's been working this land for at least 400 years...!"

"Ahoy!"

Army Doctor

"Mother, I'd like you to meet a member of the armed forces."

War and peace

Wordplay: Fertilizer.

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

'Go get the hose, George! That gopher is back!'

'Give them lager and sunglasses.'

"This is the worst parade ever."

Gale Norton - US Secretary of the Interior.

"We had to get builders to stop hoarding land and start building houses...extreme forms of persuasion were called for!"

"Whoa now, hold on hold on! I just wanted to read that sign there. I couldn't see it from the road."

'I'm not one for the birds and he IS my best mate!'

'We strike it 0500, unless, of course, they say sorry and spoil everything.'

Burning the Scarecrow

'Craig Venter is positive. Take an empty cell, fill with Euro soccer hooligan DNA, multiply and defeat the Taliban!'

"I need a job looking after cattle."

The Land Grab: Then and Now

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

Police officer shoots himself in foot

Fred thought he was following orders when he began the war on terriers.

Miniature cricket pitch.

'Are you crazy? That crap is deadly, man!'

"I was hoping you had no more territorial ambitions."

"My ringtone is gunfire. It keeps the men on their toes."

'I hate military time.'

'And this one I got for properly polishing my medals!'