Land Forces Gifts

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'Those two peaks are definitely the most popular with the men.'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

"Mother, I'd like you to meet a member of the armed forces."

"My family's been working this land for at least 400 years...!"

"Ahoy!"

Army Doctor

War and peace

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

Wordplay: Fertilizer.

'Give them lager and sunglasses.'

"This is the worst parade ever."

'Go get the hose, George! That gopher is back!'

Gale Norton - US Secretary of the Interior.

Burning the Scarecrow

"Whoa now, hold on hold on! I just wanted to read that sign there. I couldn't see it from the road."

'I'm not one for the birds and he IS my best mate!'

'We strike it 0500, unless, of course, they say sorry and spoil everything.'

"We had to get builders to stop hoarding land and start building houses...extreme forms of persuasion were called for!"

'Craig Venter is positive. Take an empty cell, fill with Euro soccer hooligan DNA, multiply and defeat the Taliban!'

"I need a job looking after cattle."

The Land Grab: Then and Now

Police officer shoots himself in foot

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

Fred thought he was following orders when he began the war on terriers.

"I was hoping you had no more territorial ambitions."

"My ringtone is gunfire. It keeps the men on their toes."

'Are you crazy? That crap is deadly, man!'

'I hate military time.'

Miniature cricket pitch.

'And this one I got for properly polishing my medals!'