Label Scratcher Pillows

"This cheap wine doesn't have a cork to smell, but the label is scratch and sniff."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

CATCHY NAME

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

Chiantis In Translation

Lack of Nutrition Information

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

'This soup must be loaded with additives. The label says that 'frequent use of this product requires periodic liver function tests'.'

Health food and junk food

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'What were you saying a minute ago, about not being able to judge a wine by its label?'

"This stuff comes with a prize! If you can pronounce all the ingredients, you get an honorary degree in chemistry."

'She read the ingredients listed on the label.'

"Artificial coloring, artificial flavoring, artificial glop, artificial slop, artificial this, artificial that..."

'Do you remember when food had food in it?'

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

Inserts

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

'Blessed before 20/01/00'

"Do you have a white on the fruity side, with maybe a possum on the label?"

Food Formerly Sold As Milk/Food Formerly Made with Sugar/Food Formerly Known as Meat/Food Former Fried.

Ol' Drunken Stupor

"I read all package labels for my health. Now my eyes are shot!"