Label Inspector Pillows

"Do you remember when food had food in it?"

Worry tank

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

All Natural Nothing

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

CATCHY NAME

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

"Who can I see about an investigation of no-show jobs?"

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

Lack of Nutrition Information

"This is wonderful - a completely dust-free lab. What do you study here?"

'This snack is vegan. It's 100% artificial ingredients.'

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

Carcinogenic/Non-carcinogenic.

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

Health food and junk food

'Yes, it's full of chemicals.'

"This stuff comes with a prize! If you can pronounce all the ingredients, you get an honorary degree in chemistry."

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

'What were you saying a minute ago, about not being able to judge a wine by its label?'

'This soup must be loaded with additives. The label says that 'frequent use of this product requires periodic liver function tests'.'

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

'She read the ingredients listed on the label.'

"Looks like they've simplified the nutritional information."

"Artificial coloring, artificial flavoring, artificial glop, artificial slop, artificial this, artificial that..."

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

'Do you remember when food had food in it?'