Lab Test Enthusiast Gifts

"Well, I have some good news and some lab results."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'I really crammed last night.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"I am not asking for directions."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

"I feel so seen right now."

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

'So I left a little bit out of the genetic code when I cloned you. You're only missing a nose. What's the big deal?'

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

Test-tube people

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

'I don't know whether we should call the world pres or keep quiet?'

'I didn't exactly write the article, but...well, I didn't exactly do the research either.'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'...then add some of the yellow powder to those blue crystals, heat it for a while, and see how you like it.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

"We're isolating the obesity gene, but only to make fun of it."

Scientist with test tube.

"He should get a Nobel prize for thinking he'll get a Nobel prize."

'More or less?'