Knight Wannabe Pillows

Bazooka Jousting

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 1.

'HA, HA! See the way arrows are deflected off my brand new breastplate?'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

Knight Golfing

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

'The knights are drawing closer'

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Don Quichotte

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

Knights Wing Mirrors.

Don Quilowatte

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

Unicorn Joust

I think he's a bit OCD. He checked my chastity belt is locked, six times!

'Avoid the fat, chewy ones. They'll pull the fillings right out of your head!'

"Let's make the bill easy and just split it."

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

'What do you mean you don't believe I'm really a Princess?'

"I'm sorry, this is all very embarrassing but we've decided to open a pub together."

Knight Vision

"Do you know a good taxidermist?"