Knight Wannabe Pillows

Bazooka Jousting

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 1.

"I told you idiots all that chest bumping would get you stuck to each other some day."

'HA, HA! See the way arrows are deflected off my brand new breastplate?'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

Knight Golfing

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

Reese Witherspoon

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'The knights are drawing closer'

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

Don Quichotte

Knights Wing Mirrors.

Don Quilowatte

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.

Unicorn Joust

Inside voice!

"Mom, this isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to be Iron Man for Halloween."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

I think he's a bit OCD. He checked my chastity belt is locked, six times!

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

"Let's make the bill easy and just split it."

"I'm sorry, this is all very embarrassing but we've decided to open a pub together."